The following is Part 1 of a series written by a former seminarian who entered religious life full of expectation but found something designed for destruction. Have we been naïve in thinking that our bishops desired to have strong vocations beneath lip service from their offices? It is difficult to make sense as to what the motivations are for seminary formation today unless you look through the lens that the real intent all along was …
Thank you to the many men and women who entered seminaries and convents and left disillusioned at the evil and indifference they found.
You were not the problem. Yours was the faith that evil aimed to destroy.
Especially to you, we hope this series is a source of encouragement. If you are a former postulant or seminarian and would like to talk more about your experiences with others who had similar experiences, reach out to us. Thank you to our anonymous brother for sharing his experience…
There are certain quotes that have such tremendous impact that they go straight to the heart and become engraved there. And not only do these words make your heart skip a beat, but it is like they rewire your brain. And with the heart on fire and your brain in shock, you can finally make some decisions years in the making. Such was the case for me with the following words from the French priest Henri Lacordaire:
“To live in the midst of the world with no desire for its pleasures; to be a member of every family, yet belonging to none; to share all sufferings; to penetrate all secrets, to heal all wounds; to daily go from men to God to offer Him their homage and petitions; to return from God to men to bring them His pardon and hope; to have a heart of fire for charity and a heart of bronze for chastity; to bless and to be blest forever. O God, what a life, and it is yours, O Priest of Jesus Christ! Amen.”
Wow! After nine years of struggling with my vocation and spending countless hours before the Blessed Sacrament, it was these words in large part that allowed me to finally discern the priesthood. What exhilaration, what holy intoxication, and what freedom of heart and mind!
Along the road less traveled, in the years spent in religious life and seminary, I lived the words of Saint Catherine of Siena: “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” I met so many great men of all ages who also wanted to be priests. At the same time, I met a good number of priests faithful to their calling and who cared greatly for their sheep.
But what desolation, what unholy sobriety, and what sadness of heart and mind to meet with disappointment. I met priests who no longer wore their collar because of the insults people directed at them in public places. In my path, I found priests who did not want to preach about the Mercy of God, the Rosary, or anything that resembled “piety”. It was not uncommon for me to find priests who took vacations in Las Vegas to “take in the shows.” I even came across Bishops who spent millions of dollars on house renovations or who took month-long vacations. I asked myself: “When did these bishops allow the devil to take them up into a very high mountain and accept the earthly “kingdoms” of luxury and comfort offered by the enemy of souls?
Even though priests are fully human like the rest of the laity, I have to admit that I had difficulties when I came across priests struggling with alcohol. It was a shock to my system and eventually I learned to pray for these priests. Still, in my weakness I could not help but ask myself at what point did these priests stop watching and allow the devil, roaring like a lion, to devour them (1 Peter 5:8)?
In all honesty, the priests that I struggled with the most were those who were extremely devoted to their parishioners but had no reverence for our Eucharistic Lord. I remember working with a priest who was so good and dedicated to his sheep, but who told me that he hated those people who knelt to receive our Lord on the tongue. I also met a seemingly good priest in another country who was always available to the people, but who publicly encouraged them to only receive our Lord in the hand. This priest used the excuse that he was only relaying the wishes of the bishop of his diocese. Oh, how the devil likes to use “blind obedience to the bishop!”
Throughout my journey, it was common to come across priests who were too busy in active ministry to spend time in Adoration before the Most Blessed Sacrament. The words of our Lord from the tenth chapter of the Gospel according to St. Luke burned within me:
“Martha, Martha, thou art careful, and art troubled about many things: But one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the best part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
Yet another question came to me: “How is it possible that the devil is successful in convincing Martha to lead Mary and the world away from Adoration?”
Next week, I would like to prayerfully consider these questions and tell you about how my vocation proceeded.
... Thank you for fasting with us tomorrow. You will be glad you made the effort for all of eternity.
1) We add the new fasting intention of taking back the church from evil. We submit the three-step process to achieve this victory is 1-Repent, 2-Prayer & Fasting and, 3-Imitate our Savior by throwing the evil leadership from the church. We will seek to emulate the Savior in our effort to End The USCCB, an organization that has been devastating to the church. (“You shall know the spirit by the fruits” - Matt. 7:16)
2) For the Holy Spirit to reign down upon America, renewing our land as the Christian, capitalist meritocracy we were founded to be.
3) For the protection of our police, firefighters, military and their families from harm and that the Lord bless their courageous generosity on our behalf.
4) For the protection of the families who fast with us, and for God’s blessings of abundance upon them and that true to His word, we will be able to witness that He prospered us in famine.
Would you like to learn more about fasting?
We maintain a repository of ideas and information we have learned over the last decade while fasting weekly for America. From scientific studies on the benefits of fasting, to the differences between intermittent dieting vs intermittent fasting, to scriptural references regarding the power of fasting to the history of first century Christians who stated believers are obligated to fast weekly, we hope you will find numerous insights with our free resource located here.
Together let us also implore Heaven while fasting for intentions you have highlighted:
4) For all patriots who put themselves on the front lines in combatting evil and for all of the warriors who are stepping up around the nation to fight for the gospel – May The Father cover them in the blood of our savior, protect them and their families from evil and bring victory to their endeavors.
5) For priests, ministers and all who aspire to lead others to the Lord, that the Holy Spirit will reign down upon them as at Pentecost filling them to overflowing.
6) For the Americans jailed after January 6th who were admitted to the Capitol building by the police, and who were not found to have destroyed any property at the capitol yet who have been held captive ever since on our own soil - That God's Spirit will move quickly to bring justice back to this land and free them.
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